• Protect Self Defence Team

Don't treat people how you want to be treated...

I heard a trainer talking about de-escalation last week make this statement:


"If they are upset, start by treating them the way you want to be treated"


Although this was coming from the right intention, it isn't accurate and is functionally dangerous.

To be effective, we aim to treat the person how THEY want to be treated. That is empathy. The other way is projection.

We work to find out how THEY see things, and work with that. We don't need to agree with their position, only see it, accept it as theirs, and work with it.


The De-escalation/Tactical Communication stage of self defence is vital for every organisation as it is a skill which will be used literally every day in some way, shape, or form. Being a better communicator never made anyone worse off.


Get in touch with us to chat about how we can help your team.


Phil